The Office Inbetweener

SOME GUYS JUST AREN'T CUT OUT FOR A 9 TO 5…

The Heist – Part I

We ALL do stupid things when drunk. Admittedly some more so than others but the common factor every time is that it always seems to make perfect sense.

One of my ‘things’ whilst at university was stealing shit. Before anyone gets too concerned as to where this may be heading, don’t worry, I’m not talking about items with any real ‘street value’ but more keepsakes or nostalgic pieces.

It started off small; cutlery, plates, etc. usually from Chinatown, which is where we’d often end up in the early hours of the next morning. But gradually things escalated, with my most notable ‘lifts’ being a centrepiece from an Indian restaurant, some patio furniture from the now closed Gardening Club, Covent Garden and a fire extinguisher from Strawberry Moons, Piccadilly.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking:

1. Taking a fire extinguisher is fucking stupid and dangerous. I realise this and refer you back to the ‘making perfect sense’ argument.

2. How the hell did I manage to leave each venue with said item? It’s amazing what you can hide down your trousers or under your coat (when you carry it in your hand).

3. Can I hang out with you some time? Absolutely.

Just on the extinguisher; I was so impressed at having made it out of the bar undetected that I proceeded to pull the pin and use it almost immediately after leaving… Unsurprisingly, I was apprehended, escorted back to the premises and issued with a lifetime ban.

Kiwibiker.co.nz

Kind of like this but nowhere near as cool – kiwibiker.co.nz

Thankfully, like pissing in hotel lobbies, this is something I learnt to control over time. And really thought I had the habit beat for good until February last year.

In the run up to my last day at the FIRM, I must’ve been out quite literally every weeknight for around a month. You may find this hard to believe but in addition to the score of guys that I’d grown to love, there were also a few girls who I was going to miss immensely and as a ‘thank you / feel free to sleep with me afterwards’, I booked a table for four at Galvin at Windows one Friday.

For those of you who chose not to click on the link, Galvin is a Michelin-starred restaurant and bar situated on the 28th floor of the Hilton, Park Lane.

I’m telling you this not because I’m trying to appear flash (there are many people out there who don’t even rate the place, I’m sure) but more to convey that I wanted to do something memorable for the girls. As it’s certainly not the sort of place I’d usually hang out. Hell, my ‘last meal’ with Slacks was a Big Mac with Fillet-o-Fish chaser.

However, I ballsed up the dates and although the girls and I subsequently had an intimate evening elsewhere; that night, rather than simply cancel the booking, I ended up taking Panda Bear and the Twins. Which in hindsight was definitely a bad call.

Don’t get me wrong, the venue was fantastic. And the views of Hyde Park and beyond from that vantage point were pretty special. But the dining experience? Not so much.

First there was the encounter with the sommelier; which, as one would expect when dealing with a bunch of uncouth clowns, was just embarrassing. And once the poor chap realised that he was in the company of taste buds more accustomed to pints of Heineken and Jager bombs, he left us be with the house white (I think).

que

Then came the food: tiny, overpriced portions that tasted of shoe (though I guess we did opt for a set menu). But on the upside, the terrine of ‘road kill and some other shit’ was concealing a two-inch bone that sliced my mouth up so they discounted the wine heavily by way of apology.

Buoyed by our new-found riches we settled the bill and headed for the bar, which is when things started to go awry.

Make of this what you will but given my extensive bromances over the years, I intended to gift something to each of the Frat-Pack members when I left.

Now for everyone else I had my present sorted but for Twin D, I wanted something extra special. As not only are we mighty close but in my absence, it was to him that I was looking to continue those great traditions of:

1. Convincing the others to go out at the drop of a hat;

2. Introducing younger members to the Fraternity; and perhaps most importantly

3. Being ready and willing to sacrifice personal holidays the next day in pursuit of getting yourself and everyone else thoroughly wankered the night before.

The way I saw it, I was ‘passing the torch’ to him and needed a gift that would reflect this sentiment.

I’d already discussed the idea with Northern Monkey and up until that night, I’d accepted that the closest match to what I was after was a light saber, which I planned on purchasing and presenting to him during my leaving speech.

But as we took our seats in one of the booths that all changed. For there, standing tall and shining bright was a table-lamp, which I can only describe as a mini Olympic torch.

And I had to have it.

galvins 2

Read Part II here.

If you liked this then I suspect you might also enjoy my book. Or not.

Either way, thanks for reading; particularly to those of you who share these stories and/or leave comments.

98 comments on “The Heist – Part I

  1. liamfox83
    10th December 13

    HAHAHAHA! This is funny and I totally understand it because when I was in Korea and very drunk, I stole a HUGE ass flash light from a place called Thursday Party. Also, once when stopping off at a gas station to fill up the car, my very drunk friend walked in, “took” a shit load of magazines, a pack of Doritos and 500ml Coke and walked out. She was insanely drunk though and didn’t remember doing it the next day.

    We were able to catch up on the latest gossip the next morning though – it’s how I found out about Lindsay Lohan’s lesbianism

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      A huge flash light you say… That may have been more appropriate actually.

      I don’t know Liam. She may say that she was drunk but just like our Lara below, that sounds a lot like straight up robbery to me?

      Like

  2. Megly Mc
    10th December 13

    I would argue that a lamp is less costly than a lawsuit over a sliced mouth, but I’m American and people sue when they fall at your restaurant, after tripping on their OWN feet. *tear* Soooo proud…

    BTW…you’re never allowed at my house, but I do have my eye on something at this one place, so if you’re in town, we’re going there.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      Yeah, I’ve read many a bizarre lawsuit emanating from the States… That’s pretty much my long term plan once this stupid book’s out the way!

      In all seriousness though, you’re right. If any of us were actually the ‘pushy sort’ (translation: had any balls), I’m sure we could have got more than just the discounted wine.

      Ha. I’ve never stolen anything from private residences but fair enough… And yes, just say the word, provide the alcohol and it’s yours.

      Like

  3. spincyclediaries
    10th December 13

    Mr. Smithson! Too funny!!! Why is it that some of us have klepto tendencies when wasted? I once nabbed a very fancy book on coin collections (??? don’t ask!) because I thought one day I’d be more grown up, have a place of my own and wouldn’t it look grand on my coffee table? Can’t wait to read the next part!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      That absolutely would’ve looked grand on your coffee table, I’m sure.

      Yeah, I’m not sure what it is..? I guess it’s partly the excitement of trying to get away with it. But in this particular instance, I also REALLY wanted that lamp.

      Glad you enjoyed it and as always, thanks for commenting.

      Like

  4. shivs27
    10th December 13

    Ahh, I was a bit of a drunken klepto back in the day! Usually limited to stealing things from boys though. Whoops

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      Yeah, I think it’s somewhat of a rite of passage for university students…

      Stealing things from boys huh? Don’t tell me you’re talking about their boxer shorts? I thought that was ‘our thing’… panties, knickers and thongs of course.

      Like

      • shivs27
        10th December 13

        Ha! That’s not my jam.. although knickers have been left with boys before

        Like

        • Sean Smithson
          10th December 13

          Why am I not surprised to hear that…

          Like

          • shivs27
            10th December 13

            I paint a wonderfully endearing picture of myself

            Like

  5. Marian Green
    10th December 13

    I’m raking my brain now to think if I’ve ever stolen anything… Other than three tiny plastic horses from preschool (which I returned two days later because I felt so horrible) no, I’m a theft virgin.

    Enjoyed the read… And will pop back for the conclusion. :)

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      Being a theft virgin is a good thing; believe me, you’re not missing out. And look at you with the strong conscience even at that age. Very cute.

      In fairness, I used to be like you. And then I started drinking… Glad you liked it though. Hopefully part II will be online later this week.

      Like

  6. mikemajor9
    10th December 13

    Ah! Ya bastard – you can’t cut the story off there! Okay, waiting impatiently for the rest of this now. But yup, you are not alone in the drunken stealing things from restaurants zone — for a while there years ago, my friends and I had quite a collection going of potted plants taken from lobbies on the way out… none of us actually cared about plants at all, but once we started taking them, well, it just became a “thing”.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      Yeah, it almost becomes a hobby when you’re totally wankered..? Not sure if I’ve ever nabbed any plants but lobbies were definitely a prime target. And boy would I have preferred it if the lamp was located in one… Having to get the damn thing out the bar and onto the ground floor was a fucking effort I tell you.

      Ha. Hopefully the wait won’t be too long man as I’m hoping to get the concluding part wrapped up this week. But I was conscious that I hadn’t posted anything in over a fortnight so thought I’d get this out there at least.

      Like

  7. honeydidyouseethat?
    10th December 13

    I will never let you and my husband drink together. We woke up one time to a three by six foot, yes foot, painting of the Queen regally gazing down at us. John took it home from the military mess. And a standing ash tray. We don’t smoke. Why do men become kleptomaniacs when they drink??

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      Holy shit, that is impressive. I don’t want to give away too much here but man, could I have used him on my team for part II.

      With regard to the klepto thing; I have no idea. Though looking at some of the comments on this one, it appears that women are just as bad?

      Like

    • Julie
      11th December 13

      BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That is some funny shit! I am sure the standing ashtray had a wonderful purpose to serve, somehow. heeeheeeheee and a huge painting of the queen? hahahammmmm…. I can’t seem to stop laughing…mmmfffffmpp

      Like

  8. jojogrrl
    10th December 13

    Stealing shit is a great tradition in the Air Force. I once stuffed a Union Jack down the front of my jeans when at a hangar party when the Brits were here. What ensued was a tug of war with one of the aircrew and me almost losing my jeans lol! I also managed to steal several momentoes from the Canadians God bless them.
    Do I win a date yet lol?

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      You should definitely write about the time your jeans almost came off. Well, I think so anyway.

      I’d love to go on a date with you. It’s such a shame about the whole separate continents thing though…

      Like

  9. intothebeauty
    10th December 13

    I think we all have a little thief in us somewhere.

    When I was 12 I stole $120 worth of lip gloss from CVS. I’ll never know why.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now that just sounds like straight up theft Lara.

      At least I was bolloxed when I committed my crimes… Ha. I’d hate to think what you’re capable of when you’ve had something to drink?

      Like

      • intothebeauty
        10th December 13

        Hhahah usually when I’m drunk it’s your usual fork and knife set slash maybe a margarita or beerita glass.

        I almost got caught stealing that lipgloss so I never shoplifted at an actual store again. Restaurants and bars only when I’m drunk. That is IT!

        Like

  10. Expat Eye
    10th December 13

    Tease ;) Looking forward to part 2!

    Like

  11. Maison Bentley Style
    10th December 13

    I had to put up with a flatmate who took pleasure in unscrewing nameplates from Commercial buildings…certainly confused the postman.. xxx

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th December 13

      When I first read this I thought it was your postman who had been confused… and was envisaging a door with numerous nameplates / numbers on it. But I quickly came to my senses.

      I’m interested to know what tool(s) he / she used for the job though?

      Like

  12. Spankalicious
    10th December 13

    We once thought it would be funny to nick off with a sign that told us to wear shoes. We thought it was infinitely funny at the time because it was 4am, we were all shoeless and pretty wasted. We needed to have this sign in our hotel room ASAP so we can get more wasted looking at it and giggling.

    We left it in the room when we checked out a few hours later ;)

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th December 13

      I suspect that I too would’ve found great satisfaction in that item under the circumstances. And yes, I’ve lost count of the things that I have subsequently forgotten or realised weren’t actually that funny / necessary.

      You never know though, maybe the cleaner or the next occupant of your room now has it hanging up in their bathroom or something?

      PS – Love the term ‘nick off’.

      Like

  13. girlseule
    10th December 13

    This is awesome! I’m a bit notorious for stealing things when I’m pissed, usually just lollies and chocolate bars from 24 hr convenience stores. A lamp from a fancy restaurant though, now that is epic!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      10th December 13

      Ah but you’ll have to wait and see what actually happened…

      Like

  14. justagirlinnyc
    10th December 13

    Hahaha!! My ex was from London and I would go to his apartment and he would always have props from various places.. Hofbrauhaus steins (all sizes/kinds), then at some point had the wooden plack off the entrance door with the big blue HB… it was the size of a pizza. Always amazed me… and yes, he would tell me that he always hid them under his coat or took the beer for the walk home or whatever..I thought it was . hilarious, but a lamp is classic!!! As always… hats off.. You are brilliant.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th December 13

      The sign on the door is an impressive lift for sure. Though I suspect it may have been a more straight-forward operation that the lamp?

      And I wouldn’t congratulate me just yet… But thanks, I’m really glad you’re continuing to enjoy these tales.

      Like

  15. Aussa Lorens
    10th December 13

    Oh lord, I can’t wait to read the next installment of this tale… My brother went through a very similar klepto stage when he was in college… came home with all sorts of odd little treasures from public places. I still keep my loose change in a suggestion box he once ripped from a fine dining establishment.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th December 13

      Suggestion box eh? That’s impressive. And the fact that you’re still using it is bloody marvelous.

      Ah, now as I’ve mentioned to a few others; it may not end the way you might expect it to. But shhh… I’ve already said too much.

      Like

  16. nancytex2013
    11th December 13

    Must have Part II. Now.

    Like

  17. downturnabyss
    11th December 13

    Nice cliff-hanger… but I won’t use that joke a second time. What could it be, one wonders? After lamps, fire extinguishers, table settings, it had better be impressive is all I’m saying; words I’m sure you’ve heard before. For my own part, back before you were born (no, really, this was about 1982) I was one of a few people who liked to nick road cones, ring on door entry buzzers until someone answered and then leave the cones in the lobby. I would like to retrospectively claim that as a dadaist act, though in truth it was just alcohol.

    Incidentally, I mis-read liam’s comment above as ‘a huge ass-lamp’ which casts a whole different light on things…

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th December 13

      Perhaps it’s because I’ve got an immature mind but when I think of the words “it had better be impressive”, I’m immediately picturing a scene in which you are picturing me lying to a female about the length / girth of my wang in order to entice her into bed..?

      However you would be very wrong as that would most certainly lead to huge disappointment for her.

      Back to this story however; hopefully you WILL BE suitably impressed.

      ’82 was the year of my birth so your statement may not technically be accurate. Nonetheless, I’m sure I would’ve enjoyed going out on the piss with you if that was the kind of stuff you pulled afterwards.

      PS – Dadaist is the second word you’ve used that I’ve had to look up. I forget now what the first was but thanks for the continuous education.

      PPS – Yes, an ass-lamp would really have been something.

      Like

      • downturnabyss
        12th December 13

        You are correct in your assumption – your mind may be immature, but it is, I have to confess, no more so than mine… it may be best to leave it at that.

        Let’s be pedantic! I know I was indulging in this behaviour in April ’82, as I distinctly remember doing this in Richmond the night I first met Alan McGee (a namedrop which forever defines my age and mindset, maybe) – would that be before your birth, making me technically correct?

        Like

        • Sean Smithson
          13th December 13

          I’m afraid that on ‘this occasion’ you are technically incorrect sir. Sorry.

          Part II is online… I await your verdict.

          Like

          • downturnabyss
            17th December 13

            Damn. However, my chagrin is appeased by the second part, which I have just read. If it was made into a movie (ok, short film, but they can still get awards, right?) then who would portray you? I can see a smooth Clooney-esque quality to your planning and execution – allied to his ability to do the requisite double-takes and asides to camera – but he’s too old for you. Incidentally, that’s not a phrase I’ve ever heard used about me in any context whatsoever.

            In short, a fine tale well told, sir.

            Like

          • Sean Smithson
            18th December 13

            Once again your words both educate and entertain my friend.

            Glad you enjoyed part II. And yes, I too feel that Clooney would be ideal for the role.

            Like

  18. lazylauramaisey
    11th December 13

    Brilliant! I’ve done traffic cones, a bar stool and a whole picnic bench from a pub up the road before. Four of us just lifted a corner each and ran down the road and put it in our own front garden for a week or two before returning it because the weather was so cold that we never even sat on it. Good times.
    Yehhhh… remember how I told you I don’t drink anymore. It’s probably a good job.
    Installment number two now, please.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th December 13

      Those are some pretty impressive lifts. I could’ve used you on my team!

      I’m working on it…

      Like

  19. Claire Duffy
    11th December 13

    The Gardening Club is closed? Well that’s ruined… not much really, but it’s made me feel old. I fancied a DJ there sometime in the mid 90s and spent altogether too much time hanging about the DJ booth trying (and failing) to look alluring.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th December 13

      Ha. Yes, I was fairly unmoved by that news when I found out too. Though I do have some fond memories of the place.

      Oh shoosh… Even though we’ve just ‘met’, I’ve no doubt that you were most alluring Claire…

      Thank you for stopping by.

      Like

  20. Julie
    11th December 13

    I am pretty sure I know where this is going. And as soon as I got to the picture of Manuel I got all fawlty towers meloncholy.. But I also laughed out loud.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th December 13

      I wouldn’t be so sure Julie… However, it’s lovely to see you again and I’m glad you’re still laughing.

      Like

      • Julie
        11th December 13

        Yep, you crack me up, and that is exactly why I said pretty sure, because I have read enough of you to know I have no idea what comes next. You are too cleaver to lead up to the obvious, and then state it…

        awww…didja miss me?

        Like

    • Julie
      11th December 13

      oh, and my brother was convinced I was attempting to fill the trunk of my car with stolen bic lighters. I would often leave the bar with many lighters. Sometimes I would get caught, “Didja see my lighter?” “Yeah, maybe what color is it?” and I would produce 5 lighters…. It was a game, a challenge,not really stealing. Come on, it is a .79 cent lighter !(at least it was at the time) lets see how many I can leave with. Of course it was much easier then too because we could still smoke in the bar so there were lighters out galore! Oh… the good ole days….

      Like

      • Julie
        11th December 13

        Oh… now that I have read all the comments… my bic stealing lighter days were actually before you were born… or about that time.. I was drinking, I don’t exactly remember.

        Like

        • Sean Smithson
          13th December 13

          Ha. I like that. The older woman thing is a total turn on for me… Just so you know.

          Like

          • Julie
            18th December 13

            HA! What a perfect answer! Just so you know, many people don’t believe I am as old as I am! So there’s that….

            Like

          • Sean Smithson
            18th December 13

            I’ve totally got a boner right now.

            Like

        • Julie
          18th December 13

          HAHAHAHAHAHA! You have a wonderful sense of wit! :)

          Like

  21. thehowlingfantogs
    12th December 13

    Hmmm, road kill and other shit. Sounds great. I don’t know what it is with alcohol that turns us all into kleptomaniacs. I learned from this post that Gardners club was now closed. Glad to see strawberry moons is still there though.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      13th December 13

      Road kill, other shit and a two inch bone remember. Yeah, without alcohol my life would be awful…

      Let me know if there are any other clubs you need an update on.

      Like

  22. The Hook
    14th December 13

    At least you live your life without any regrets…
    Well done!

    Like

  23. vicbriggs
    16th December 13

    It sounds like you were having a lot of fun. One of my very good friends went through a phase of stealing street signs – her room was full of them – only gave up when she’d run out of places to display them around the house lol

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      16th December 13

      Ah, you see that’s where she went wrong. She kept everything.

      I’d often realise what an idiot I was in the morning and try to palm the item off on someone else; most notably the centrepiece, which was presented to some friends as a ‘thank you’ gift for letting us stay with them one weekend.

      Whether or not they liked it or had any use for it was completely irrelevant…

      Like

  24. evolution
    17th December 13

    Next time, I’ll read the first installment before commenting on the second! This contextual background really fills in the question marks…not sure how I missed that. Once again, great post. I think you have a truly great talent for storytelling.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      18th December 13

      You’re not the first one to have done that, don’t worry.

      Though yes, hopefully part II makes some sense now.

      Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say. And actually, were it not for Juststoplooking’s comment, I was going to use that line in my Christmas post.

      I really appreciate your support.

      Like

      • evolution
        19th December 13

        Ah man, was I that close?! Well I’m happy to at least have been an SK nominee and more happy that my comment touched you, cuz I meant it.

        Like

  25. skinnyuz2b
    23rd December 13

    OK, you klepto, you, I can only imagine the décor of your home! A dish from here, a center-piece from there, an ash tray (how politically incorrect) from anywhere.
    I never lifted a souvenir, but I love bread and often compliment really good servings. My bread blessing are appreciated and I have walked out of restaurants with friends while carrying a bag with three two-foot long loaves sticking out. And we were on our way to a club. Nothing like a hunk of bread with your drinks!

    Like

  26. butimbeautiful
    8th January 14

    comment and you could win a date…hang on, don’t you want to see the naked pictures first? Very amusing post, by the way!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      8th January 14

      Yeah, I didn’t think it through properly… Always ask for pictures first! Happy to hear you enjoyed this though.

      Like

  27. charlypriest
    10th January 14

    Pissing in hotel lobbies as a hobbie, stealing items of emotional value…should be ashamed of yourself. But you do redeem yourself when at least you do something good for mankind, and when I say mankind I ignore the women. You took the effort or money to take them out to a good restaurant all in the name of man kind humanity and for that I am thankfull.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th January 14

      I am ashamed of myself… The next day. At the time I think I’m Superman.

      Like

  28. charlypriest
    10th January 14

    Forgot.

    God bless you for spreading the love for others, although you might shoot me an e-mail with some phone numbers….just a though.

    Like

  29. MissSteele
    14th January 14

    You should just make one room in your house/apartment/flat or wherever the hell you sleep at night that is completely decorated with stolen items. It will be like a little klepto shrine. A conversation piece, if you will. It can showcase your stealthy abilities.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      14th January 14

      Whilst I absolutely love that idea Miss Steele, I’m afraid I’ve given away my entire hoard to people over the years.

      Though perhaps this is your way of telling me that I need to rekindle my Artful Dodger ways..?

      Like

  30. Trent Lewin
    25th February 14

    Dude, I read this one and the part 2… great stuff. I used to steal stuff in uni too. I once stole a great big cannon. It was not very easy.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      25th February 14

      Talk to me man. How big? Sounds like we definitely could’ve used you that night.

      Like

      • Trent Lewin
        25th February 14

        Well. 6000 pounds made of cast iron. Too big to carry, so we engineered a great big wooden cart with a car axle and a heavy duty castor. Took three months to build. Distracted the police, had a police scanner going, started a diversion on campus with a riot, went to work with ropes and about 200 folks in the middle of winter, near exhausted the school’s supply of salt trying to get some traction. But we did it, and didn’t get caught. That little heist is still presented at my school as a design project example.

        Like

        • Sean Smithson
          25th February 14

          Dude you’re a fucking criminal mastermind! I love it. You have to do a blog post about that one man.

          Like

          • Trent Lewin
            25th February 14

            I may. They still have an open police file on it though, so I try to keep it quiet. Doesn’t help that there’s a video floating around…

            Like

  31. Daniel Nest
    26th February 14

    Overpriced items that taste of shoe? How can I lose?!

    Man, I’m trying to picture someone leaving a venue with a fire extinguisher, trying to look as nonchalant as they can. There must be YouTube videos out there.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      26th February 14

      I know, right? Why wouldn’t you go there?

      Man, I had my technique perfected. And of course the other thing going in my favour was that no one would usually expect you to steal something that large.

      I’m going to check YouTube now and if there aren’t any How To guides up already, I may have to dust off the old black gloves…

      Like

  32. lifeconfusions
    3rd March 14

    Ha, The last part had me ! The second part is already here I gather so I’m off to read it. Though I am impressed by your heist making techniques massively.
    But it does makes me wonder why my brother used to call me heist, any explanations?

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      3rd March 14

      That lamp was truly something to behold Z. But don’t congratulate me on my abilities until you’ve read part II…

      As for your brother, I have no idea… Heisst (with the extra s) does correspond to ‘name’ in German? ‘Wie heisst du’ means what is your name or what do you call yourself?

      Perhaps he just kept forgetting your name and was trying to practise his German at the same time?

      Like

      • lifeconfusions
        3rd March 14

        Hahaha, best explanation ever. Because this is totally expected from my brother. But he can only speak French, there must be some connection between French and German and if there isn’t. I’ll just imagine it anyway because your explanation is far to good to ignore.

        Now that I have read the part 2, I still congratulate you on this massive achievement of getting the arc reactor. And getting the lamp as far as you could take it. A guy can try, right?

        Like

        • Sean Smithson
          4th March 14

          Indeed. As our parents always say, it’s the taking part that counts…

          Like

  33. Phil Taylor
    15th March 14

    You are obviously not alone in with your sticky fingers when intoxicated. I remember once when I was in university that I slipped out of a club with a full size glass beer pitcher. As I stepped outside I saw the last bus back to campus pull up across the street. I decided I had better run to catch it. In the middle of a busy intersection the pitcher slipped out of my coat and smashed in absolutely spectacular fashion. Another time I managed to steal a full keg from a party.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      15th March 14

      Perhaps you shouldn’t read part II. The ending is not too dissimilar to what happened to your pitcher… Nice touch on the keg though man.

      Like

  34. Pingback: Shameless Plugs | Creative Noodling

  35. mollytopia
    28th July 14

    This is awesome – can’t wait to get to part II! We once stole rocking chairs off the porch of a well-lit store. We tossed them into the back up a pick-up truck and hauled ass. I was in college – the amount of liquor we consumed prior to this criminal activity was probably also criminal, and physically dangerous. Ah good times.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      28th July 14

      Rocking chairs (plural). Now that’s an impressive lift. Though the fact that you had a pick-up tuck at the ready sounds a little pre-meditated to me, Molly..?

      Like

  36. MeglyMc
    2nd August 14

    NO!!!!! I don’t believe it! YOU!?

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Gunmetal Geisha
    8th August 14

    You cut up your mouth and they only discounted your wine?! Not even on the house?

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      9th August 14

      I know, right? I should have demanded the lamp in exchange for not making a scene.

      Like

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This entry was posted on 25th February 14 by in Frat-Pack Favourites and tagged , , , , , , .
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