About
After graduating from UCL in ’03 with a Degree in Statistics & Economics, I accidentally became a tax adviser for a wealth management firm in London (well actually there were two: XY and the FIRM). Following a number of failed attempts to escape, I finally quit in ’12 and left to see the world; hoping to find some answers about what to do next.
If my parents had their way, I’d be married, working for Goldman Sachs and living in Chelsea. But having blown most of my savings travelling, I’m currently single (sounds better than divorced), ‘in between jobs’ and freeloading at their place until I sell enough copies of my book to move out. I guess I didn’t find those answers.
However I did rediscover my passion for storytelling. And buoyed by fellow travellers, I decided to make the leap from pub raconteur to ‘writer’, setting up this site in May ’13.
Initially a blueprint for How to LOSE a GIRL in 10 Ways, it continues to grow and when I’m not trying (and failing) to pick-up women, I’m adding new stories to the site. As and when I can be arsed.
Are my stories unique? Maybe. Maybe not. But either way, how many people do you know who would be comfortable admitting to the world that they shit their pants in KFC or tried to nail a hooker in their colleague’s flat whilst she was asleep? I thought as much.
Note; Sean Smithson is a pen name. Being Tamil it’s far easier to pronounce than my real one but more importantly, this way, my parents will hopefully never find out what I’m truly like!
100 comments on “About”
Comment and you could win a date with me
The Office Inbetweener 
Hey, thanks for liking a few of my posts! Got a few chuckles out of yours this morning. Linda.
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My pleasure. Glad you approve.
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If the rest of your stuff is as well-written as your “about” page, I’m impressed—no matter the content! And I’ve done some pretty stupid shit, too, and am living with my dad at almost 30 on top of it. So I can relate! Write on!
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It seems a little redundant responding to this message now given that we’ve communicated a fair bit since but I just wanted to say thanks again for the compliment.
I hope to read about some of that stupid shit on your blog one day…
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Lol. Some of it I’m too embarrassed to admit… But I’m sure I can come up with something. 😉
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Shameless confessions of embarrassing shit are the best. 🙂 A student at the university I attend tried to have me shut down my blog because she didn’t want my sexcapades associated with the university in any way. So I’ve gone semi-anonymous. Only to get her off my back. Because I’m still shameless! 🙂 Cheers!
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You didn’t film any of these sexcapades by any chance did you..?
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I didn’t… But that’s not to say there’s not video evidence. 🙂
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Hello there! Thanks for checkin out my page…yours seems like quite the gem. I’m intrigued. Can’t wait to read more.
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Don’t mention it. And I see that my buddy the Dimwit has checked you out too, which can only be a good thing.
Try not to read too much of my stuff though as you’ll probably come to the conclusion that I’m a massive dick!
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Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being self actualized. 🙂
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Loving the blog…I think we might be soul mates! Haha!
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There are certainly a few similarities aren’t there… I think you could be onto something!
Thank you by the way. As I’m never too sure how the opposite sex will react to some of my stories.
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May all the stupid-shitters unite!
Love the about page. Am addicted. Am jealous. May start hating you soon. But will continue to read.
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Thank you so much. Those are some very sweet words.
And it’s fine if you start to hate me. I’m sure a lot of people already do… Well, certainly some of my former female colleagues do!
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Hey! Thanks for stopping by my blog 🙂 Checked a couple of posts on yours and must say, I’m sure gonna keep revisiting it 🙂
Cheers!
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You’re welcome… And that’s what I like to hear.
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You’re an exuberant storyteller! Sounds as if your life is filled with enough excitement to fill several books. Thanks for liking my blog post. I look forward to reading more of your adventures.
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Thanks a lot man, I really appreciate that. Ha. Excitement, yes perhaps. But direction and stability. Absolutely not!
You’re welcome re the post and I’ll see you around the site maybe.
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Absolutely adore the idea behind your blog! 🙂
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Thank you kindly Bineeta; I’m glad someone does. You’ve got some good stuff going on over at yours too.
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Hi there Sean. Thanks for visiting my blog and liking one of my recent posts – it allowed me to discover yours. I look forward to enjoying more of your writing. Thanks again for stopping by. All the best, Thomas
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Thomas that post was fantastic. I should be the one thanking you for putting it online man. So thank you.
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I have to say… I just saw your line on your gravatar page: “Amateur drinker with a writing problem.” AWESOME.
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Ha, it’s great isn’t it? But I can’t claim the credit. It’s actually from an Irish poet called Brendan Behan. The original quote is “I am a drinker with writing problems.”
I just modified it slightly to avoid COMPLETE plagiarism.
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Lol. I like your version better, anyway. 😉
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I guess this is the NAKED truth of most lives in this world..but no one is willing to accept it. Interesting blog you’ve got dude.
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Thanks a lot man. Yeah I figured if I didn’t get out when I did, I never would have… I appreciate you following too.
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Hey! Thanks for liking my post!
I love how you write, the humor is great. Reminds me of how I used to write… def want to get back into that style.
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You’re welcome; it was very entertaining. As was your ‘about’ page. Arguably the best one I have ever come across.
Thanks for the compliment by the way. But I think your current style is fine as it is.
See you around the interweb.
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Thank you, good sir. I will too be seeing you around this fantabulous world we call the Internets… 😉
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Thanks for liking my post… i started reading your blog and i enjoy it. You’re funny and your post made me smile through my toughest and darkest hour..
Thanks Sean! Looking forward to read more of your posts.
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You’re welcome bud. And I’m most glad that something I wrote was able to pick you up during a tough time. Hope all is ok.
Happy to hear that you’ve decided to stick around.
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You’re stories are really entertaining.. hope to hear more from you.
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your shits hilarious dude! awesome stories.
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Thanks Broseph. Really appreciate that. Feel free to tell your buddies about them too as this blog is currently being taken over by women!
Not that that’s a bad thing mind you. But I’m starting to feel like this is turning into an advice column for women on how to spot and avoid dickheads.
Just checked out your shark story. That’s some funny stuff too man. Hopefully see you round these shores more often…
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Stopped by to check your blog out and I loved reading this and the other pages that I have been able to read so far, very funny and entertaining! I love the I am going to do what makes me happy and be myself attitude ( I wish more people were as daring! ) I look forward to more entertainment! Im totally diggin your style.
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Thank you so much Devin. Not just for commenting but also for the praise; that’s really sweet of you.
Daring maybe. But broke and going nowhere fast; definitely! Glad you’re enjoying the stories and I look forward to seeing you around these parts more often…
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I enjoy your candour, perspective and of course your sense of humour. And it’s interesting how you still identify yourself as Sri Lankan when, to go by your use of language, you sound as British as Marmite 😉
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Thank you very much for the kind words limepickles. I’m pleased you’re enjoying the read.
It’s funny that you mention that. As just today, mum and I were talking and she asked if I felt that any of my chums thought about the fact that I was ‘Sri Lankan’ or whether they just considered me ‘British.’
My answer was that they all see me as another Brit just like themselves. Which is how I see myself. I did wonder about the need to mention that I was Sri Lankan…
When I started this project about three and a half months ago there was no photo and no mention of my background. But as it has grown and the more personal it gets (like the most recent story), I felt it was something that needed to be clarified.
For the record though; I’m a lot fairer than most Sri Lankans, I can’t speak the language and I can’t handle the food. So there’s a strong chance I’m actually the milkman’s son!
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And hello fellow Sri Lankan =)
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I did wonder… Hello back.
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Very happy I found your site! Gonna look around some more now 🙂
<3, Charlotte
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I’m happy you found it too Charlotte. Though I presume that you made this statement after reading the Trailer and the Lead…
You may not feel so happy after you read some of the other content on here!
Hopefully you will though and you decide to stick around. Either way, thanks for finding me and for commenting. I really appreciate it.
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Your about page is so charming and wonderful. Thank you for stopping by my blog because it gave me the opportunity to find you and your hilarious writings. Keep chasing your dreams and being awesome. As long as you’re doing that, it doesn’t matter where you hang your hat at the end of the day 😉
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Why thank you so much Smash. I was sniffing around your ‘about’ page earlier and definitely enjoyed my stay.
I think once again, I have a new favourite ‘commenter’. I really appreciate your words and am glad that you shall be sticking around my dear.
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Thanks for stopping by and liking some of my post. Now I’m trapped reading a story about a too tight white suit and bloody hands… 😀
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Haha. Yes for some reason that appears to be everyone’s favourite. Though I for one was traumatised by the entire experience!
And regarding your posts; don’t mention it. I need to rely on self-deprecation to sound funny (hopefully). But you appear to be comfortable with the observational stuff, which I have plenty of time for.
I look forward to reading more…
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Thank you for that. My mission statement is to do at least one thing worth posting each day. I can’t guarantee it’ll always be observational or even amusing, but you’re always welcome to stop by to see. 🙂
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Living in the land of KFC I can say that you are not the only one to have an unfortunate experience in their establishment.
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No way? That’s awesome (or at least I think it is). I haven’t got round to writing about my episode yet but if you have, I’ll definitely be checking that one out!
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Mine was a high school story. A buddy ate there with only a shirt on. A very risky endeavor sitting in a KFC booth pantless
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I’ll add that to my bucket list!
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I’m commenting, so I want a date! You did say men too right? I just started reading a couple a stories now and I can already say that my work day is over…I’m not doing a stitch of work from now on till about 5pm South African time, which is to say I will be reading this blog for another 4 hours.
P.S I want that date! HAHAHA
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I did like this comment a lot so you’re definitely in with a shout of winning that date!
Glad to hear that you’re enjoying the blog. Though my apologies to your boss for wasting four hours of your time… I actually have a couple of stories from when I was in South Africa last year. One from Cape Town too. Wicked city.
If you win that date, are you prepared to fly me out there?
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If I win the date I think I’m going to have to fly you out here, just so that you can have another story from Cape Town to tell! I’m from Cape Town so it’s my favourite place in the world.
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Haven’t quite decided if you’re awesome or a cock yet, but I’ll be back to try to decide. Besides, we’ve all done stupid things.
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Love this comment! Hopefully you’ll settle on ‘awesome’. But I fully understand if it’s ‘a cock’…
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We’re all guilty of some cock-like actions.
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I have a soft spot for honesty and boldness.. oh wait, that sounded a little gay!
but hey, who gives a fuck what sounds what!
Love the blog and your writing style. Cheers!
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Thanks bud. Honesty and boldness is all I’ve got in my locker so I really appreciate that…
Big fan of your blog too. Ladies, you MUST check it out!
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There is so much gold here. It will take me days to get through all of it. But I will.
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You’re too kind, seriously. Though I am really pleased to hear you’re enjoying the stories.
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But where does it tell me that you live in the UK? Hmm. I note Chelsea, but there’s one of those in Mebourne and New York and Vancouver. I taught a Sri Lankan girl in prep school in New York (when I lived in Chelsea 😉 ), and I recall her last name as something like Dattatreya … I also recall being coached on how to pronounce it. Apropos to nothing, she was my best student, though never a willing teacher’s pet (a tribute to good parenting, that).
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Ha. Quite correct. I’ve changed the site so many times since I set it up back in May. From memory, there used to be a mention of London in the tag line or something.
Though I do mention it in ‘the Trailer’ and depending on how you’re viewing the site, there should also be a red phone box and London bus floating around the borders…
Coincidentally, I have been to all three of the cities you mention above but was only aware of the Chelsea in New York. And given I’ve been to Vancouver four times that’s pretty shocking… I should pay more attention next time!
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Ha! Good answer. I like you. I was in Settle for a while, and went often to Vancouver. Their Chelsea is actually a suburb, so I suppose it really doesn’t count 😉 I do see the phone boxes, but I’m not good at making those sorts of connections … I’m convinced I suffer from undiagnosed Asperberger’s. Really.
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Nominated you for “The Dragon’s Loyalty Award”
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I know it’s a late response but it just dawned on me that if I didn’t say anything, people reading these comments might think that I’m an ungrateful jerk for not acknowledging this.
But what those people may not have realised is that I actually thanked you on your own site. I’m still an ungrateful jerk. But that’s in relation to other things…
No doubt speak to you soon.
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Hey Look! Another “award”. I nominated you for “The Dragon’s Loyalty Award” too, because I was told I had to pick people and like reading your blog. Isn’t it bizarre that you need to do work for an award? Just saying– tag you’re it!
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Ha. Thanks. Though you do know that you can just thank the person separately and avoid doing the homework, right?
That being said, I did enjoy your acceptance speech.
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Haha- I know, but there is no fun in that.
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You’re funny as fuck and I admire your blog.
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Thank you for the high praise man. And I mean that seriously. Glad you’re enjoying the stories.
I was having a nose around your blog earlier. I’m glad we’ve crossed virtual paths.
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My god. I may be in love. And you’re Brit to boot. This is a good thing.
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Admittedly we’re not very far into it. But best comment of 2014!
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I’ll take it!
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Haha, just ‘discovered’ your blog today. Funny and embarrassing stories. Seems wonderful material for a blog. 😉
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It does seem like people enjoy laughing at me…
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Yo Sean! I nominated you for a Liebster Award: http://bloggedartistry.wordpress.com/2014/01/28/my-first-wordpress-award/
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Thanks man and well done again on your nomination. Though as you may have seen from some of the comments above, blog awards aren’t really my thing.
Yes I know, ‘bah humbug’… I really do appreciate the sentiment though.
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Goddamn. So glad I stumbled across your blog. This is rich shit. Keep it up (with or without enhancers).
Cheers,
BBK
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High praise indeed. Thanks a lot man. Though I believe I may have been the first to stumble..? I found you through the always entertaining, LexBorgia.
It’s getting harder (to do) these days but I’ll try to keep it up.
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Thanks for liking my boobs today, feel free to stop by every Friday and like them some more…
Now about this date. When is the drawing? 😉
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What can I say, they’re great boobs!
People might think that I’d be slightly embarrassed that you’ve inadvertently ‘outed’ me to other readers as being a guy that visits blogs where women show off their tits. But ‘people’ clearly don’t know me…
As for the date; fairly soon actually. But I suspect your location and, more importantly, your husband might render you ineligible to be considered.
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Thank you kind sir.
I think your readers would be more concerned if you didn’t appreciate and take advantage of viewing a nice rack when presented with the opportunity… if you know what I mean. 😉
Darn, you caught the fact that I have a husband did ya? Well a girl can still dream.
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Decided to read this, as I have already had the pleasure of reading about your attempts as stealing a lamp. Plus, I usually share your posts with John, and I don’t want him to liquor up (he’s had a very bad day) and go out into the RV park and steal from the 80 year old + residents. 🙂
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Ha. Do you know, I’ve just been talking to another Canadian guy who specialises in taking things that don’t belong to him… Have you ever come across Trent Lewin – http://trentlewin.com/?
I really think you’d like his blog. But don’t let him and John ever hang out together!
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Okay…so I’m back, not put off by your pure ‘naughtiness’. Love your blog – definitely a new favourite of mine (don’t tell the others!). I especially love your writing style & story-telling. Looks like you’ve had quite a few adventures!
Anyway, keep it up….you’re doing great (Not in a patronising way!).
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Heyyy… You made it. Thank you so much, that’s very sweet of you to say Amanda. And don’t worry, I shan’t say a word. Really appreciate you reading.
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😀 !!! Welcome welcome!! We are in the same team!! Aspiring authors 😀 !! my second book is due in August 😀 !!! Just one difference we have, you know i need that book i suggested and then we would be like totally ALIKE 😀
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Congrats on the fp!
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Thanks a lot man. I should probably drop Big Fat Pauly a thank you note too as he made it worth telling!
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My God. I love you! Where did you get your outrageous sense of humour? Love love love your blog.
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