The Office Inbetweener

SOME GUYS JUST AREN'T CUT OUT FOR A 9 TO 5…

About

After graduating from UCL in ’03 with a Degree in Statistics & Economics, I accidentally became a tax adviser for a wealth management firm in London (well actually there were two: XY and the FIRM). Following a number of failed attempts to escape, I finally quit in ’12 and left to see the world; hoping to find some answers about what to do next.

If my parents had their way, I’d be married, working for Goldman Sachs and living in Chelsea. But having blown most of my savings travelling, I’m currently single (sounds better than divorced), ‘in between jobs’ and freeloading at their place until I sell enough copies of my book to move out. I guess I didn’t find those answers.

However I did rediscover my passion for storytelling. And buoyed by fellow travellers, I decided to make the leap from pub raconteur to ‘writer’, setting up this site in May ’13.

Initially a blueprint for How to LOSE a GIRL in 10 Ways, it continues to grow and when I’m not trying (and failing) to pick-up women, I’m adding new stories to the site. As and when I can be arsed.

Are my stories unique? Maybe. Maybe not. But either way, how many people do you know who would be comfortable admitting to the world that they shit their pants in KFC or tried to nail a hooker in their colleague’s flat whilst she was asleep? I thought as much.

Note; Sean Smithson is a pen name. Being Tamil it’s far easier to pronounce than my real one but more importantly, this way, my parents will hopefully never find out what I’m truly like!

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100 comments on “About

  1. Expat Eye
    27th June 13

    Hey, thanks for liking a few of my posts! Got a few chuckles out of yours this morning. Linda.

    Like

  2. Jessica
    1st July 13

    If the rest of your stuff is as well-written as your “about” page, I’m impressed—no matter the content! And I’ve done some pretty stupid shit, too, and am living with my dad at almost 30 on top of it. So I can relate! Write on!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      26th July 13

      It seems a little redundant responding to this message now given that we’ve communicated a fair bit since but I just wanted to say thanks again for the compliment.

      I hope to read about some of that stupid shit on your blog one day…

      Like

      • Jessica
        27th July 13

        Lol. Some of it I’m too embarrassed to admit… But I’m sure I can come up with something. 😉

        Like

  3. Shameless confessions of embarrassing shit are the best. 🙂 A student at the university I attend tried to have me shut down my blog because she didn’t want my sexcapades associated with the university in any way. So I’ve gone semi-anonymous. Only to get her off my back. Because I’m still shameless! 🙂 Cheers!

    Like

  4. wordcatalogue
    21st July 13

    Hello there! Thanks for checkin out my page…yours seems like quite the gem. I’m intrigued. Can’t wait to read more.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      21st July 13

      Don’t mention it. And I see that my buddy the Dimwit has checked you out too, which can only be a good thing.

      Try not to read too much of my stuff though as you’ll probably come to the conclusion that I’m a massive dick!

      Like

      • wordcatalogue
        21st July 13

        Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being self actualized. 🙂

        Like

  5. LittleMissLola
    21st July 13

    Loving the blog…I think we might be soul mates! Haha!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      22nd July 13

      There are certainly a few similarities aren’t there… I think you could be onto something!

      Thank you by the way. As I’m never too sure how the opposite sex will react to some of my stories.

      Like

  6. Marie
    22nd July 13

    May all the stupid-shitters unite!

    Love the about page. Am addicted. Am jealous. May start hating you soon. But will continue to read.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      22nd July 13

      Thank you so much. Those are some very sweet words.

      And it’s fine if you start to hate me. I’m sure a lot of people already do… Well, certainly some of my former female colleagues do!

      Like

  7. Anushree
    22nd July 13

    Hey! Thanks for stopping by my blog 🙂 Checked a couple of posts on yours and must say, I’m sure gonna keep revisiting it 🙂

    Cheers!

    Like

  8. harmonioustew
    22nd July 13

    You’re an exuberant storyteller! Sounds as if your life is filled with enough excitement to fill several books. Thanks for liking my blog post. I look forward to reading more of your adventures.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      23rd July 13

      Thanks a lot man, I really appreciate that. Ha. Excitement, yes perhaps. But direction and stability. Absolutely not!

      You’re welcome re the post and I’ll see you around the site maybe.

      Like

  9. Bineeta
    24th July 13

    Absolutely adore the idea behind your blog! 🙂

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      24th July 13

      Thank you kindly Bineeta; I’m glad someone does. You’ve got some good stuff going on over at yours too.

      Like

  10. Thomas Kelleher
    24th July 13

    Hi there Sean. Thanks for visiting my blog and liking one of my recent posts – it allowed me to discover yours. I look forward to enjoying more of your writing. Thanks again for stopping by. All the best, Thomas

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      24th July 13

      Thomas that post was fantastic. I should be the one thanking you for putting it online man. So thank you.

      Like

  11. Jessica
    26th July 13

    I have to say… I just saw your line on your gravatar page: “Amateur drinker with a writing problem.” AWESOME.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      26th July 13

      Ha, it’s great isn’t it? But I can’t claim the credit. It’s actually from an Irish poet called Brendan Behan. The original quote is “I am a drinker with writing problems.”

      I just modified it slightly to avoid COMPLETE plagiarism.

      Like

      • Jessica
        26th July 13

        Lol. I like your version better, anyway. 😉

        Like

  12. anshulstefandre
    29th July 13

    I guess this is the NAKED truth of most lives in this world..but no one is willing to accept it. Interesting blog you’ve got dude.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      30th July 13

      Thanks a lot man. Yeah I figured if I didn’t get out when I did, I never would have… I appreciate you following too.

      Like

  13. Jennifer Seifert
    30th July 13

    Hey! Thanks for liking my post!

    I love how you write, the humor is great. Reminds me of how I used to write… def want to get back into that style.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      30th July 13

      You’re welcome; it was very entertaining. As was your ‘about’ page. Arguably the best one I have ever come across.

      Thanks for the compliment by the way. But I think your current style is fine as it is.

      See you around the interweb.

      Like

      • Jennifer Seifert
        30th July 13

        Thank you, good sir. I will too be seeing you around this fantabulous world we call the Internets… 😉

        Like

  14. northwest08
    30th July 13

    Thanks for liking my post… i started reading your blog and i enjoy it. You’re funny and your post made me smile through my toughest and darkest hour..

    Thanks Sean! Looking forward to read more of your posts.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      30th July 13

      You’re welcome bud. And I’m most glad that something I wrote was able to pick you up during a tough time. Hope all is ok.

      Happy to hear that you’ve decided to stick around.

      Like

      • northwest08
        30th July 13

        You’re stories are really entertaining.. hope to hear more from you.

        Like

  15. KippFu
    3rd August 13

    your shits hilarious dude! awesome stories.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      3rd August 13

      Thanks Broseph. Really appreciate that. Feel free to tell your buddies about them too as this blog is currently being taken over by women!

      Not that that’s a bad thing mind you. But I’m starting to feel like this is turning into an advice column for women on how to spot and avoid dickheads.

      Just checked out your shark story. That’s some funny stuff too man. Hopefully see you round these shores more often…

      Like

  16. Ps.LoveDevin
    8th August 13

    Stopped by to check your blog out and I loved reading this and the other pages that I have been able to read so far, very funny and entertaining! I love the I am going to do what makes me happy and be myself attitude ( I wish more people were as daring! ) I look forward to more entertainment! Im totally diggin your style.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      8th August 13

      Thank you so much Devin. Not just for commenting but also for the praise; that’s really sweet of you.

      Daring maybe. But broke and going nowhere fast; definitely! Glad you’re enjoying the stories and I look forward to seeing you around these parts more often…

      Like

  17. limepickles
    10th August 13

    I enjoy your candour, perspective and of course your sense of humour. And it’s interesting how you still identify yourself as Sri Lankan when, to go by your use of language, you sound as British as Marmite 😉

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th August 13

      Thank you very much for the kind words limepickles. I’m pleased you’re enjoying the read.

      It’s funny that you mention that. As just today, mum and I were talking and she asked if I felt that any of my chums thought about the fact that I was ‘Sri Lankan’ or whether they just considered me ‘British.’

      My answer was that they all see me as another Brit just like themselves. Which is how I see myself. I did wonder about the need to mention that I was Sri Lankan…

      When I started this project about three and a half months ago there was no photo and no mention of my background. But as it has grown and the more personal it gets (like the most recent story), I felt it was something that needed to be clarified.

      For the record though; I’m a lot fairer than most Sri Lankans, I can’t speak the language and I can’t handle the food. So there’s a strong chance I’m actually the milkman’s son!

      Like

  18. limepickles
    11th August 13

    And hello fellow Sri Lankan =)

    Like

  19. Charlotte Hayes
    11th August 13

    Very happy I found your site! Gonna look around some more now 🙂

    <3, Charlotte

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      11th August 13

      I’m happy you found it too Charlotte. Though I presume that you made this statement after reading the Trailer and the Lead…

      You may not feel so happy after you read some of the other content on here!

      Hopefully you will though and you decide to stick around. Either way, thanks for finding me and for commenting. I really appreciate it.

      Like

  20. Smash
    12th August 13

    Your about page is so charming and wonderful. Thank you for stopping by my blog because it gave me the opportunity to find you and your hilarious writings. Keep chasing your dreams and being awesome. As long as you’re doing that, it doesn’t matter where you hang your hat at the end of the day 😉

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      12th August 13

      Why thank you so much Smash. I was sniffing around your ‘about’ page earlier and definitely enjoyed my stay.

      I think once again, I have a new favourite ‘commenter’. I really appreciate your words and am glad that you shall be sticking around my dear.

      Like

  21. misplacedbookworm
    14th August 13

    Thanks for stopping by and liking some of my post. Now I’m trapped reading a story about a too tight white suit and bloody hands… 😀

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      14th August 13

      Haha. Yes for some reason that appears to be everyone’s favourite. Though I for one was traumatised by the entire experience!

      And regarding your posts; don’t mention it. I need to rely on self-deprecation to sound funny (hopefully). But you appear to be comfortable with the observational stuff, which I have plenty of time for.

      I look forward to reading more…

      Like

      • misplacedbookworm
        14th August 13

        Thank you for that. My mission statement is to do at least one thing worth posting each day. I can’t guarantee it’ll always be observational or even amusing, but you’re always welcome to stop by to see. 🙂

        Like

  22. thisdayindating
    20th August 13

    Living in the land of KFC I can say that you are not the only one to have an unfortunate experience in their establishment.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      20th August 13

      No way? That’s awesome (or at least I think it is). I haven’t got round to writing about my episode yet but if you have, I’ll definitely be checking that one out!

      Like

      • thisdayindating
        21st August 13

        Mine was a high school story. A buddy ate there with only a shirt on. A very risky endeavor sitting in a KFC booth pantless

        Like

  23. liamfox83
    23rd August 13

    I’m commenting, so I want a date! You did say men too right? I just started reading a couple a stories now and I can already say that my work day is over…I’m not doing a stitch of work from now on till about 5pm South African time, which is to say I will be reading this blog for another 4 hours.

    P.S I want that date! HAHAHA

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      24th August 13

      I did like this comment a lot so you’re definitely in with a shout of winning that date!

      Glad to hear that you’re enjoying the blog. Though my apologies to your boss for wasting four hours of your time… I actually have a couple of stories from when I was in South Africa last year. One from Cape Town too. Wicked city.

      If you win that date, are you prepared to fly me out there?

      Like

      • liamfox83
        26th August 13

        If I win the date I think I’m going to have to fly you out here, just so that you can have another story from Cape Town to tell! I’m from Cape Town so it’s my favourite place in the world.

        Like

  24. appletonavenue
    27th August 13

    Haven’t quite decided if you’re awesome or a cock yet, but I’ll be back to try to decide. Besides, we’ve all done stupid things.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      27th August 13

      Love this comment! Hopefully you’ll settle on ‘awesome’. But I fully understand if it’s ‘a cock’…

      Like

  25. Sam Dolan
    5th September 13

    I have a soft spot for honesty and boldness.. oh wait, that sounded a little gay!

    but hey, who gives a fuck what sounds what!

    Love the blog and your writing style. Cheers!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      5th September 13

      Thanks bud. Honesty and boldness is all I’ve got in my locker so I really appreciate that…

      Big fan of your blog too. Ladies, you MUST check it out!

      Like

  26. nancytex2013
    9th November 13

    There is so much gold here. It will take me days to get through all of it. But I will.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      9th November 13

      You’re too kind, seriously. Though I am really pleased to hear you’re enjoying the stories.

      Like

  27. avoirunevie
    19th November 13

    But where does it tell me that you live in the UK? Hmm. I note Chelsea, but there’s one of those in Mebourne and New York and Vancouver. I taught a Sri Lankan girl in prep school in New York (when I lived in Chelsea 😉 ), and I recall her last name as something like Dattatreya … I also recall being coached on how to pronounce it. Apropos to nothing, she was my best student, though never a willing teacher’s pet (a tribute to good parenting, that).

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      19th November 13

      Ha. Quite correct. I’ve changed the site so many times since I set it up back in May. From memory, there used to be a mention of London in the tag line or something.

      Though I do mention it in ‘the Trailer’ and depending on how you’re viewing the site, there should also be a red phone box and London bus floating around the borders…

      Coincidentally, I have been to all three of the cities you mention above but was only aware of the Chelsea in New York. And given I’ve been to Vancouver four times that’s pretty shocking… I should pay more attention next time!

      Like

      • avoirunevie
        19th November 13

        Ha! Good answer. I like you. I was in Settle for a while, and went often to Vancouver. Their Chelsea is actually a suburb, so I suppose it really doesn’t count 😉 I do see the phone boxes, but I’m not good at making those sorts of connections … I’m convinced I suffer from undiagnosed Asperberger’s. Really.

        Like

  28. liamfox83
    6th December 13

    Nominated you for “The Dragon’s Loyalty Award”

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      20th December 13

      I know it’s a late response but it just dawned on me that if I didn’t say anything, people reading these comments might think that I’m an ungrateful jerk for not acknowledging this.

      But what those people may not have realised is that I actually thanked you on your own site. I’m still an ungrateful jerk. But that’s in relation to other things…

      No doubt speak to you soon.

      Like

  29. YourMotherIsADirtyGirl
    18th December 13

    Hey Look! Another “award”. I nominated you for “The Dragon’s Loyalty Award” too, because I was told I had to pick people and like reading your blog. Isn’t it bizarre that you need to do work for an award? Just saying– tag you’re it!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      18th December 13

      Ha. Thanks. Though you do know that you can just thank the person separately and avoid doing the homework, right?

      That being said, I did enjoy your acceptance speech.

      Like

  30. Mark Coakley
    20th December 13

    You’re funny as fuck and I admire your blog.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      20th December 13

      Thank you for the high praise man. And I mean that seriously. Glad you’re enjoying the stories.

      I was having a nose around your blog earlier. I’m glad we’ve crossed virtual paths.

      Like

  31. Trent Lewin
    9th January 14

    My god. I may be in love. And you’re Brit to boot. This is a good thing.

    Like

  32. Aphrodite
    10th January 14

    Haha, just ‘discovered’ your blog today. Funny and embarrassing stories. Seems wonderful material for a blog. 😉

    Like

  33. bloggedartistry
    29th January 14

    Yo Sean! I nominated you for a Liebster Award: http://bloggedartistry.wordpress.com/2014/01/28/my-first-wordpress-award/

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      30th January 14

      Thanks man and well done again on your nomination. Though as you may have seen from some of the comments above, blog awards aren’t really my thing.

      Yes I know, ‘bah humbug’… I really do appreciate the sentiment though.

      Like

  34. Big Blogger of Knowledge
    22nd February 14

    Goddamn. So glad I stumbled across your blog. This is rich shit. Keep it up (with or without enhancers).
    Cheers,
    BBK

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      22nd February 14

      High praise indeed. Thanks a lot man. Though I believe I may have been the first to stumble..? I found you through the always entertaining, LexBorgia.

      It’s getting harder (to do) these days but I’ll try to keep it up.

      Like

  35. 'Tis
    22nd February 14

    Thanks for liking my boobs today, feel free to stop by every Friday and like them some more…

    Now about this date. When is the drawing? 😉

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      22nd February 14

      What can I say, they’re great boobs!

      People might think that I’d be slightly embarrassed that you’ve inadvertently ‘outed’ me to other readers as being a guy that visits blogs where women show off their tits. But ‘people’ clearly don’t know me…

      As for the date; fairly soon actually. But I suspect your location and, more importantly, your husband might render you ineligible to be considered.

      Like

      • 'Tis
        23rd February 14

        Thank you kind sir.
        I think your readers would be more concerned if you didn’t appreciate and take advantage of viewing a nice rack when presented with the opportunity… if you know what I mean. 😉
        Darn, you caught the fact that I have a husband did ya? Well a girl can still dream.

        Like

  36. Shelley
    25th February 14

    Decided to read this, as I have already had the pleasure of reading about your attempts as stealing a lamp. Plus, I usually share your posts with John, and I don’t want him to liquor up (he’s had a very bad day) and go out into the RV park and steal from the 80 year old + residents. 🙂

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      25th February 14

      Ha. Do you know, I’ve just been talking to another Canadian guy who specialises in taking things that don’t belong to him… Have you ever come across Trent Lewin – http://trentlewin.com/?

      I really think you’d like his blog. But don’t let him and John ever hang out together!

      Like

  37. amandalyle1986
    12th March 14

    Okay…so I’m back, not put off by your pure ‘naughtiness’. Love your blog – definitely a new favourite of mine (don’t tell the others!). I especially love your writing style & story-telling. Looks like you’ve had quite a few adventures!

    Anyway, keep it up….you’re doing great (Not in a patronising way!).

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      12th March 14

      Heyyy… You made it. Thank you so much, that’s very sweet of you to say Amanda. And don’t worry, I shan’t say a word. Really appreciate you reading.

      Like

  38. 10eveningflowers
    15th May 14

    😀 !!! Welcome welcome!! We are in the same team!! Aspiring authors 😀 !! my second book is due in August 😀 !!! Just one difference we have, you know i need that book i suggested and then we would be like totally ALIKE 😀

    Like

  39. El Guapo
    30th May 14

    Congrats on the fp!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      30th May 14

      Thanks a lot man. I should probably drop Big Fat Pauly a thank you note too as he made it worth telling!

      Like

  40. mavenbiz
    22nd November 14

    My God. I love you! Where did you get your outrageous sense of humour? Love love love your blog.

    Like

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