The Office Inbetweener

SOME GUYS JUST AREN'T CUT OUT FOR A 9 TO 5…

Glossary

The following is a list of terms that may be foreign to you. The majority can be cross referenced on Urban Dictionary but in some cases, the meanings are unique to me and the guys.

A levels – anal sex
Allow – forget about it / don’t worry
Bar (or T-Bar) – tits / breasts; originating from the US word tiddy-bar meaning a strip club (T-Money / Z-Money © 2003)
Bolloxed – really drunk
Boshed – pretty drunk
Brass – whore / hooker
Chunder – to vomit
CIM – cum in mouth
Cock-rest – a particularly visible cleft chin (Slacks © 2009)
Fit – attractive
Flat packed – the state of a man’s balls after ejaculation; ‘if you play this right, your nuts should be totally flat packed by the end of the night’  (Slacks © 2009)
GFE – girl friend experience
Googly – actual meaning is an off break bowled with an apparent leg-break action (cricket) but can also mean misdirected / mislead
Johnson – US slang for cock / penis / knob
Mathematics – sex; originating from the concept of putting 1s in 0s (Nova © 2009)
O levels – oral sex
OWO – oral sex without a condom
Parkers – an awesome strip club in London
Pie-off – to dismiss
Secrets – a chain of strip clubs in London
Spec – type / preference / flavour (T Money / Z Money © 2003)
Tap – bang / sleep with / have sex with
Tings – sexual favours (but not intercourse)
Tings-up (or a marathon tings-up) – basically what we all hope we’ll get if we can’t actually have full sex for any reason (Twin D © 2010)
Windmill – to swing your penis around in attempt to bring it back to life

Characters:

Poitier and Unit (school)
T-Money (university)
Junior (XY)
The Frat-Pack (the FIRM): Basis, Danny Champion of the World, Flembo, Frank-Kay, Guns, Northern Monkey, Nova, Panda Bear, Skywalker, Slacks, Sternberg, Stingray, Twin A, Twin D & Unknown Male
The Surgeon & The Financier (my two brothers)

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34 comments on “Glossary

  1. night owl
    27th July 13

    Although we Yanks pronounce it ‘tiddy’, we spell it ‘titty’ as a derivation of ‘tit’ which is derived from ‘teat’.

    Hope that helps if you ever come to the States looking for a ‘Gentleman’s club’ as they are inevitably called here.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      27th July 13

      Thanks for looking out night owl.

      Yes, I was aware of the spelling but it just sounds so much cooler in an American accent so I went for the phonetic option.

      Ah yes, the Gentleman’s club. I’ve been to one in both New York and Miami… I still think I prefer Parkers though.

      Like

      • night owl
        28th July 13

        Ah, of course. Spelling in the vernacular. We Americans keep our ‘r’s but turn our middle ‘t’s into ‘d’s. Interesting that you find it cool. I love talking to my London friend on the phone. His Birmingham roots take him away from the BBC accent a bit. Makes him sound very cool to me.

        I’ve not ever been in a Gentleman’s club, strip joint, or titty bar. I’ve obviously missed out on hundreds of lap dances. Poor me. 🙂

        Like

  2. thewanderingangel
    29th July 13

    Your vocab list alone has me in stitches. I’m familiar with the majority but some of them are just plain genius, definitely going to find myself using some of them, hopefully that doesn’t infringe copyright laws?

    So womanizing in London eh? I hope I may have the pleasure of meeting you one day 😉 Though it seems to me your loins are very much occupied atm ;). Loving the blog, will follow avidly.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      29th July 13

      You know, this is probably my favourite page of the whole site but people seem to neglect it for some reason (other than the night owl and yourself). So thank you for noticing it.

      Feel free to use any word you like (the best ones aren’t mine anyway). But be prepared for some strange looks when you do.

      Really pleased you’re enjoying the blog. I’m genuinely shocked at the percentage of female readers. Not that I actually have a figure for that but you know what I mean.

      I like yours too. And I’m very impressed at the restraint you showed with the Sex God.

      So how serious were you about meeting up..? I’m assuming not very but I ask for purely professional reasons. As I was thinking it might be kind of cool to do a ‘blog crossover’.

      Ok that’s a load of bollocks. I just wanted to get you drunk on the house wine somewhere and take advantage of you.

      Anyway, think about it… The ‘crossover’ that is!

      Like

      • thewanderingangel
        29th July 13

        You shouldn’t be too shocked us women like to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak. A lot of us may front, but deep down we’re more like our male counterparts than we like to think. I’m just one example of a women who embraces this.

        And with regards to the Sex God, yes the restraint was admirable, however I get the feeling that I haven’t seen the last of him yet, part of me wishes to continue to explore but I’ll see how long I can keep the restraint up.

        I’m genuinely very serious about meeting up but we’ll converse more via email. And just so you know red wine gets me legless like no other!

        Like

  3. Brad Snyder
    3rd August 13

    Thanks for checking out my blog!

    I really like this list of words! Definitely will be using them some time down the road 🙂

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      3rd August 13

      No worries Brad.

      Thanks. Go crazy with the words bud. But as I said to ‘the wandering angel’, be prepared for some seriously strange looks if you do!

      Like

  4. you changed your site a bit I see! I have nominated you for a blog award sean! check it out here
    http://nighttimedaydreamsnewmom.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/super-sweet-blog-award/

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      6th August 13

      New Mumma,

      I’ve missed you! Thanks for the nomination. That’s pretty cool. And you only chose me? Which is even cooler. Though ‘Super Sweet’?

      Seriously, that’s really sweet (no pun intended) of you and I’m most grateful.

      Like

  5. meganorussell
    22nd August 13

    I just learned so much.

    Like

  6. lazylauramaisey
    1st September 13

    To my horror, I have actually heard someone use peng in real life. I didn’t know what they were talking about but all has been explained here. It’s always an education here.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      1st September 13

      Ha. Well I’m glad I could help. It’s such a horrible word. But that’s teenagers for you unfortunately…

      Like

  7. seekerofjustice76
    18th September 13

    this is hilarious!!!!! one of my best finds so far!!!! O-Levels Flex Ting hahaahha
    definitely gonnna add these to my daily vocab
    Thanx man!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      18th September 13

      Ha, thanks Seeker of Justice 76. I’m glad it made you chuckle. I certainly had some fun putting it together.

      I don’t use many of the terms these days so it’s good to know that someone will be putting them to use! Thanks for stopping by. I really appreciate it.

      Like

  8. downturnabyss
    29th November 13

    Nice glossary – so important. The last time I said that I got a slapped face, but then that’s what you get for trying to be erudite in a pub down Millwall way…

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      29th November 13

      Ha. I like that.

      And yes, you’re right. It’s most important. Especially with some of the nonsense that has made its way into my regular vocabulary…

      Like

  9. YourMotherIsADirtyGirl
    31st December 13

    Haha– I love this page. Never really thought about the different terminology from place to place. Although I’ve heard of most of these, I learned a few new ones too. But to be truthful, I can’t stop laughing at ‘windmill’, seems like an obvious one- but that’s all I can picture now.. around and around. I will forever think ‘windmill’ when there is a flaccid penis around. Ya, I’m going to have fun with that one.

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      31st December 13

      Yes, putting this list together was actually more fun than writing any of the stories believe it or not. Though I cannot believe that a lady of your caliber has never heard of the windmill before?

      Definitely have fun with that one. Just make sure you write about it if it ever comes up! I actually only use it in one of the stories in the book so technically it shouldn’t really be in the list… But then how would you have ever heard of it, right?

      Like

  10. joeyfullystated
    1st February 14

    I apologize for being so daft in my attempts to navigate your site. Clearly I don’t deserve a date with you, but that’s alright, because I’m married. Meanwhile, I’ve decided to nominate you for One Lovely Blog, which I hope will endear you to me despite my technological retardation.
    http://joeyfullystated.wordpress.com/2014/02/01/one-lovely-two-lovelies-okay-there-are-fifteen/

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      1st February 14

      Ha. That’s okay Joey, I was already well and truly endeared. Especially after you directed me to that Eddie Izzard bit about foreign languages. So you see, this nomination wasn’t even necessary. Though thank you kindly. Like your visits to and comments on the blog, I really appreciate it.

      I shall be over shortly.

      PS – You’re wise to declare yourself out of the running for a date. It will most likely be fairly shit.

      Like

  11. Jami
    3rd February 14

    This was a most educational vocab lesson – thank you, Sean! I’m particularly appreciative of the following new words/acronyms: O and A levels, cock rest and Windmill (I never forgot seeing that move on the movie Kids but had no clue there was actually a name for it).

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      3rd February 14

      Ha. I’m so pleased you approve Jami.

      I think a lot of people often read my stories but skip this page. Yet (and I think I mention this above) putting this list together was probably the most fun I’ve had on here. A & O levels are particular favourites of mine too. The acronyms that is.

      I received my copy edited manuscript from the publishers at the end of last week and I can only imagine what was going through the poor woman’s mind when, after having read my stories, she had to proof this list too!

      If you ever come to London, I’ll be sure to introduce you to some of the guy’s behind the words…

      Like

      • Jami
        3rd February 14

        Oh just admit it, the act behind them are also faves, no? Haha…I will make it to London, possibly in the upcoming few months, but I am starting to associate England with my lack of initiative- need NEED to start getting my permaculture work up and running. Do I have your vote of confidence? Even if you haven’t a clue what it is, no worries. 😉

        Like

        • Sean Smithson
          4th February 14

          You absolutely have my vote of confidence. And I absolutely have no clue what you’re talking about. But am sure you will succeed nonetheless.

          And yes, the acts behind them are also favourites!

          PS – Your post today was awesome.

          Like

          • Jami
            5th February 14

            Haha, well thank you for the vote, regardless! 😛 If you’re ever curious, check out Bill Mollison, Vandana Shiva or Masanobu Fukuoka. As a nature lover, perhaps you would find it interesting. 🙂

            Like

          • Sean Smithson
            6th February 14

            Okay so in a pathetic attempt to impress you, I did check Vandana Shiva out on Wickipedia and other than ascertaining that she has a number of critics, I was totally lost, sorry. I think you should come to London and explain everything to me in person. Perhaps over dinner?

            PS – You may need to pay for dinner x

            Like

          • Jami
            7th February 14

            Haha okok it’s on me for doing your head in with eco ladies who get ‘bullshit’ awards. 😉

            Like

  12. 10eveningflowers
    31st May 14

    LOL!!! Cheap!! 😀 uuhhhh mmmm…i mean Cheap Eduction 🙂 !!

    Like

    • Sean Smithson
      31st May 14

      Ha. I don’t think any of these terms will be of any use to you in India. Or indeed in the UK. But thanks.

      Like

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